A pharmacist moved to Mexico after building a care plan for her mom

A California pharmacist retired early and moved to Mexico at age 50 in 2023. First, she spent years building a long-distance care plan for her mother, who is now 78. The plan has three parts: affordable housing, a remote caregiving system, and steady contact from abroad. More than three years in, she says it works and that the two are closer for it.

The housing wait

Her mom wanted to rent her own place, near public transportation, and stay in San Francisco where her friends live. Private-pay senior apartments were far out of budget. Depending on unit size and services, they often started at several thousand dollars a month.

The answer was income-based senior housing. These buildings set age and income limits and charge rent on a sliding scale. Some use a first-come waitlist. Others use a lottery. Research began in 2016, and the family applied to every building her mom qualified for. Her mom moved in during 2021, five years later.

The rent is set at 30% of her monthly income. The building has a staffed front desk, security cameras and around-the-clock on-call support.

Staying in touch from abroad

Before the move, mother and daughter talked openly about why she was leaving. She promised frequent messages, a weekly call and two visits a year. That way her mom always knows when she will next hear from or see her.

The calls do more than check in. The daughter asks about family history and childhood memories, and they trade recipes. The calls also help her notice things her mom may not think to mention. She reminds her mom of medical appointments and sometimes joins them by phone to help ask follow-up questions.

Scams and emergencies

On one call, her mom mentioned that a stranger had messaged her asking for money. They reviewed common phishing schemes, which are messages meant to trick people into clicking or paying. They then set a simple rule: don't click, don't share, and call me first.

Other safeguards include:

• A list of nearby helpers: friends, building staff and family members.
• A senior activity center membership, to give her mom more reasons to get out and meet people.
• A wallet-sized card listing medications, conditions, allergies, doctors and emergency contacts.

The costs on her end

The daughter also budgets for her side. That covers round-trip flights home twice a year, a cushion for unexpected expenses, and small purchases that make daily life easier or safer. One example was a pair of high-traction rain boots, shipped to her mom after a near slip during a storm.

What to do

The main lesson is to start early. San Francisco's affordable senior housing waitlists are notoriously long, so applying widely mattered. After that, simple routines do the work: a fixed call schedule, a clear scam rule, local backups and an emergency card.